But this incident was such a blessing in disguise as it really showed me how much the students cared for me not because they had to or because they're grateful, they just do care. As my dear friend Theodore would coaxed them to do, they spammed me with smses to send their well wishes! Totally heartwarming at a time when you feel helpless, useless and sorry for yourself. Lesson learned is that you don't have to be all a-ok for you to be effective. You just have to be true and hopeful for you to still inspire others. =) Of course, it wasn't just the students. Many many others sent their regards and asked about my condition. Thank you all!! *big left handed hugs*

I saw the X-Ray of my shoulder today. Gross~ Haha. The whole shoulder was like way below the socket where it should have been. Ouchy. That explains the excruciating pain for three hours while I waited through the hospital procedures before they put it back. Three hours! They might as well have killed me suan le. Haha. By the way I realized I have been thoroughly Singaporeanized le! Look at the way I type! Look at the way I speak! So far for this year's JC1 student, only ONE asked me where I come from, that I don't sound local. Haha. 

Anyway, the doctor told me news I really didn't like to hear. I have to be taken off my favorite sport, as well as from my favorite group of students. SAJC Rockclimbing team! That was heart-wrenching. Some people will say, I don't have to do it what. Just be there and talk lor. But it just seems funny if you're there week in week out and only able to talk to them and not do stuff with them. Especially with the guys, it's totally not the way we build rapport. The last thing I want is for them to talk to me but always have to be sympathetic that I can't do anything else. 

Looks like I have to move on. Or do I? I was so looking forward to meeting the J1 batch that just joined the team.  We got off to a good start and I met the Christians specifically so I could pass them the prayer and fast booklet to encourage them to pray and fast for SAJC. It was exciting to see them all together and they showed sincerity in their faith through their responses. I pray they will shine as beacons of light in there. 

New situations, new wisdom needed. What next Lord?

Hello there.. =) I like checking in here nowadays.. I know I have friends who are more than happy to hear my thoughts on anything under the sun and that's just humbling sometimes. =) Why? Cos I don't deserve to be accepted unconditionally, or believed so credibly on the things I have to say. To my fellow 'kuku', here's my version of humility. When you receive something that you feel you don't deserve, especially in spite of all the flaws you have, that humbles a person. To know that you're not 'there' yet and have much to learn is also humbling, but it comes with a daunting feeling. 

You know what, I used to hide alot of what I did because I had great fear of being punished/judged/misunderstood. Now, I'm so thankful that is not the way I have to be anymore, and the way to go is accountability, because honesty is the best policy. =) 

My mom has been amazingly involved in the japanese fellowship I'm in recently. It's so beautiful how my mom gets a window to the kind of life I'm leading in such a manner, where she doesn't just see on the surface what I do, but also the way I do relationships with others and that's a real blessing. I feel more understood, and in a better position to explain why I do what I do because it's backed up by what she sees for herself as well. And recently she's become an ally to tackle some problems that we both discuss and agree is happening in the lives of others. I'm thankful for this kind of a partnership, because it's nothing short of a miracle, and undeniable evidence that God really does have a hand in this, and that his plans for us are beyond our wildest imagination.